It was 8pm the night before Thanksgiving, and I was literally climbing the walls of the Castro Safeway. There was only one bag of stuffing mix left, and it was at the very back of a high shelf I had no hope of reaching.
"Oh, honey, let me help you with that," said a husky voice behind me. I jumped down off the shelving to face a stunning statuesque woman a foot taller than I in her platforms. Taking care not to damage a perfect nail, she elegantly grasped the bag and handed it to me. I accepted it gratefully, and headed home, already looking forward to telling my guests the story of The Drag Queen Who Saved Thanksgiving.
That Safeway encounter has always encapsulated for me the essence of San Francisco's gay community: fabulous, friendly…and sometimes appearing where you least expect it.
One place you can expect to find the community is in the neighborhood known as the Castro, a few compact but colorful blocks around the intersection of Market and Castro Streets. You'd be hard pressed to find a more gay place in America. Forget gay bars—they're a dime a dozen here. In the Castro, it's all gay all day. Gay hair salons, gay restaurants, gay dry cleaners, gay CPAs, and gay liquor stores. For many, in fact, setting foot in the Castro for the first time is a Wizard of Oz moment, where a formerly drab vacation bursts into full (rainbow) color.
One thing visitors do notice, however, once the Emerald City glow fades a little, is that the Castro is fairly male-oriented. For some, of course, that sounds just about perfect. If you're looking for the women's scene, though, head east a few blocks to Valencia Street. This funkier outer fringe of the Castro/Mission has a strong lesbian/feminist/activist feel. Here you'll find a number of beloved institutions that aren't necessarily lesbian, but which do have a strong following among the sisterhood, including The Women's Building community center (18th between Valencia and Guerrero); Osento bathhouse (see below); and the world-famous Good Vibrations (603 Valencia at 17th), a clean, well-lighted place for adult playthings.
It would be impossible to name all the gay-owned and gay-friendly establishments in San Francisco. Here, though, are a few standout bars, restaurants, and other GLBT hangouts in the city.
The Café
2367 Market Street
415.861.5016
Say "meet me at the Café" and everyone in the neighborhood will know you mean this lively Castro bar, with an outdoor patio. Weekend nights see a line out the door waiting to get in. The scene: Young, mixed men/women. Neighborhood: Castro.
The Lexington
3464 19th Street
415.863.2052
A good old-fashioned, one-room neighborhood bar where everyone knows your name--and just happens to be a lesbian. The scene: Mostly women. Neighborhood: Mission.
Mango (at Jelly's Cafe)
295 China Basin Way
415.495.3099
The second Saturday of every month, Jelly's transforms into Mango, an energetic Latin-tinged dance club for women. The scene: Mostly women. Neighborhood: China Basin.
El Rio
3158 Mission Street
415.282.3325
More culturally diverse than your average San Francisco gay hot spot, this unpretentious Mission District hangout has a sign out front calling it "your dive," and a wonderful outdoor patio with a dance floor. The scene: Mostly women, with a strong Latina presence. Neighborhood: Mission.
The EndUp
401 6th Street
415.357.0827
Supposedly given its name because every gay party ends up here eventually, this bar/dance club is a favorite for tea dancing on Sunday afternoons. On sunny days, the large patio is packed. The scene: Mostly men. Neighborhood: South of Market.
The Stud
399 9th Street
415.252.7883
Popular, chameleon-like South-of-Market bar has weekly club nights including hip-hop Mondays and Trannyshack Tuesdays. There's usually a DJ on weekends. The scene: Varies by night, but mostly men. Neighborhood: South of Market
The Center
1800 Market Street
415.865.5555
The Center is a brand-new 40,000 square-foot GLBT community center on the edge of the Castro featuring discussion groups and classes. It's a safe place to hang out and meet others in the community. Neighborhood: Castro.
Different Light Bookstore
489 Castro Street
415.431.0891
Specializing in gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender literature, this lively bookstore stays busy day and night. Neighborhood: Castro.
Castro Theatre
429 Castro Street
415.621.6120
This 1922 single-screen art house is one of the most beautiful places to see a film in the Bay Area. During the gay and lesbian film festival, lines frequently go around the block. Neighborhood: Castro.
Osento
955 Valencia Street
415.282.6333
Though by no-means exclusively gay, this clothing-optional Japanese-style women's bathhouse is extremely popular with lesbians. (Go figure.) Forget what you think you know about San Francisco bathhouses. It's all good clean fun in the spotless communal hot tub, cool pool, and saunas. The scene: Women only, mixed lesbian and straight. Neighborhood: Mission/Castro.
Jardiniere
300 Grove Street
415.861.5555
Not a specifically gay place at all, but we can't resist mentioning it because it's so darn good--and because of out-and-proud chef Traci Des Jardins. One of San Francisco's best (and most expensive) restaurants is the place to go if you're only going to splurge on one gourmet feast in the city. The scene: Gay/lesbian/metrosexual. Neighborhood: Civic Center. •
